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-Do you talk to yourself? You know, that internal conversation, that endless stream of words and judgments? Have you ever wondered what that is? Most believe they are talking to their “self.” What is a self? As children we are given a made up name, we have experiences, we form understandings and reactions. The general purpose of all this is to create some kind of understanding and order to our minds about our situation, often as a protector against the abuse of childhood. When you look at what is a “self” it is a collection of memories and thoughts that are emotionally charged together based on needs and fears of the past. It is an excellent shield, but is it you? Your thoughts are the same as everyone else's. There are variations. We all blame, we just vary on which group to vilify, political, ethnic religious groups, but we all judging how it should be and blame someone for it not being so.

-We learn this while young. As children we believe the world was put here for and revolves around us, and we all get upset when we discover this is not true. Most adapt to this, but there is always a feeling that things should be my way, and someone else is causing things to be wrong. Listen to your thoughts, your conversations with others. It's all pretty much the same, just the decorations are different. We are all having the same basic conversations.

-The odd thing about the internal conversation is that it continues whether you are listening or not. You may have had the experience of suddenly having your attention pulled inwards and you join the internal discussion in mid sentence. Some would say you were drawn in to your deeper self for a new understanding. I suggest this is not true.  

-The internal conversation continues without your attention. Your attention can leave the internal conversation. You are that attention. We are separate from the internal discussion, yet we identify with this internal self, even though it is only a description of thoughts talking to one another. If you can gain a spot of internal calm and watch what is happening you will see that it is not you having an internal conversation. It is the conversation having a discussion with itself. You are actually just standing in the stream  of words swirling by, swirling to grab your attention and float you in its current until you are so focused on the swirl that your attention is consumed by it, and you think you are the words. As in childhood, our fears and desire to understand take hold and we become emotionally bound to the explanation of the conversation, for it gives a basis of understanding so we feel somewhat safe. This is what holds us here, our fear of being lost on the outside.  

-So who is really doing the talking? Since we all have the same basic thoughts, it is like we are sitting in the swirl of the thoughts of a common being, one that has always been here, and we are just passing though it. If you look at it without being “self centered” (the self created by the internal conversation), you may sense that there is a being here that is talking to us, soothing your uncertainty with words. When you came here this being created your “being of conversation” as a protective shield, an illusory being to cover you in this place. Now this internal conversation holds your attention to it alone and will not let you see without the conversation. It has a force of holding your attention to this place.  

-Your thoughts are the same thoughts as every other person on the planet. These are not your personal thoughts. They are like a guide, a greeter at a party, a personal host in a strange city. The host introduces us to the place, how we act here, how to fit in and not feel alone or outside, whispering in your feelings when you are out of line. We are in the host's mansion and this place is so imbued with the aura of the host that we feel the host is our personal guide, forgetting the many others it is showing around. The host makes us feel secure, that we belong.  It provided the internal conversation as a shield in this place that really hurts, but the internal conversation makes everything OK. The host has caught us in the immensity of its place, so many halls and rooms to explore. Many are content as they explore rooms, convinced they are evolving over lifetimes, but they are not, they are simply groping from within the shield, from one security point to another.  Thus the one who runs this place holds your attention here. If it holds that, it holds you. This being is not your friend.

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