AN ODD AWAKENING
I had what is probably the most obvious awakening about Miracle of Love, and the people who participate in it. As you know if you read the other entries there are sites that hold MOL as one of the worst mind control cults on earth. I know people who have left it who hate it, though for me it has worked. I had a harsh time as I tried to find my way through my own pain and understandings, and so have a lot of other people. I projected efforts of the hierarchy to control us, to take our money, to make us feel we had to be sheep that did what they said, yet I stayed there not out of fear but because it seemed I should. Most of us have the infamous “they” that seeks control, though we use different names.
However over time I came to see that I was using my own fears, judgements and dramas within to concoct an understanding of what was going on. I felt very much like I had to watch my words, yet I mouthed off fairly openly and no one sent me away. I felt like I was shut out and couldn’t participate, yet I seem to keep ending up in situations that help the community. I also in general think I am unloved yet truth is almost everyone I meet seems to at least like me if not love me. So through all this I have discovered that I often am living in a delusion where I think I know what others are doing, and what they should be doing (like I know), but that all this understanding of mine is apparently incorrect. It is me lost in my fears.
And what do I discover when I let go of my fears and look at those in the Miracle of Love community? A bunch of people working on themselves and their fears. A bunch of people trying to open almost in spite of the pains they feel. I found that the local leader who I felt was distant and guided by mysterious cryptic comments is actually speaking in plain English and is warm and loving and quite approachable, though deceivingly deep. I find a bunch of people who want to give to one another and to the group in general. What I find is a bunch of normal people.
What an odd think to wake up to.
After all the stories, opinions, concepts, thinking they were somehow a separate cult that thought themselves better than other yet also afraid if the big boss leader might do something to them, I find they are just like everyone else. They have their prejudices, they have their misunderstandings, their assertions. They are different in one way and that is the degree of seriousness they take their spiritual nature and being seekers. But they are no better than others, they are exclusive in that they hang out with each other as many do with their friends. But they also have many friends other than this community. They and I are holy roller types, but not in the sense of looking down on others, just very committed.
They have some beliefs others might find odd. But civilians and military think that of each other. Liberals and Conservatives. Any religion and any other religion. Even Atheist and Atheist. One nationality and another.
They are just people.
Imagine that.