- Eventually I went to a therapist at the suggestion of someone I knew. This therapist worked with me so that I was able to balance out my emotional being and let go of a lot my internal demons. This was a good thing of course, because I suddenly felt more calm, more accepting of others and me. As for Miracle of Love there was a change in my understanding of it. Many people come to Miracle of Love looking for emotional or psychological assistance, part of why I came. However I had heard there was another side to the groups teachings concerning a deeper part of us, and now I was becoming more connected to this. It appears a lot of people come to work on their emotional self and are not even aware of this “other part.” Yet that “other part” is of great importance in Miracle of Love.
Some people feel hurt around Miracle of Love because of this. They search their way of being, unaware of the deeper part, hearing they should let go but not sure of what, yet their fear of not fitting in may cause them to do things they may not want to and then blame the group. This happens in many groups and I had a bit of this. Yet my experience was if I said “No I don’t want to do that” this was accepted and there was no attempt to cause me to do anything else. So one does need to take care of one’s being. But Miracle of Love is really centered on letting go of ones emotional past so this “other part” can surface, and it hurts if you don’t want to or don’t understand what is happening. There is a dance, you need to let go, but one also has to check to make sure one is ready and not to push beyond you current limits, even if others tell you to. If you try to crack a shell before the being within is ready, all you get is a crushed shell.
- As for the change I had around Miracle of Love, well I told you I had an interaction with an intense energy at “The Intensive.” Now that I am balanced out psychologically I have pretty much lost interest in “my issues and stuff.” I know I had a painful childhood. I know I hated myself and was suspicious of all I met. But I no longer care. That was all eclipsed, overwhelmed, by whatever this deeper energy is. I think it is God, but then that is a word we get told when we are young. So who knows what this energy is. It is not evil as it taught me to be loving and forgiving, I am certain of that. What I do know is that a strong powerful energy caused something deep inside me to awake, and I am now totally identified with that part, and though it is aware of the pain and the hurt, it has no interest in holding on to them. It is calm, balanced, generally peaceful (occasionally I snap at people who try to bug me), and to my amazement I love others.
- Through all this, there were other members of Miracle of Love who put up with me during my change. I was not Mr. Friendly when I started, or moved to San Diego, but there were always people there trying to be a positive influence. In my negativity I took positive suggestions as criticism. There was pain, unwanted self awakening, things like that, but this can happen just walking down the street. The benefit of this group is the members who are focused on seeing how all this pain and self ensnarement works, to let go of it. And I did.
- So, I am happy I am around them. You may do a web search on Miracle of Love and find people who hate them, warn you to hide from them, etc. Well, I happen to be someone that received a great deal of good around them. It isn’t that they are a magic show that can change you. Most of my “revelations” came when I wasn’t around anybody from Miracle of Love. However it is the focus of the members, the willingness to listen to ones anger, more so the ability they have to listen to anger and release without feeling the need to do anything but let you go through it, that is most valuable. There is a strength in saying nothing and letting the truth be told by the speaker. If you want to be with a group that will help you review your stuff endlessly from various angles, I suggest you look for another group. That is not their focus and that may cause you some problems. They are focused on God. We each have our relationship with God on our own, for we are often on our own. If you want your freedom it will come to you. No one NEED’S Miracle of Love. They do offer a path aimed at God for people interested in that, but being a member of that path doesn’t mean you get a God Badge. That comes from God. I used to try to be on their path until I saw it was just another expression of my wanting to belong, not a desire to follow their path concerning God. So now I meditate, vacuum the floor, let God love me, and move within deeper and deeper. They are not a 12 step group, they are an OK place to come to process, but they are a great group of people to be around if you are interested in waking up.
Again, these are my words, not theirs. Perhaps it will be different for you.
Some people feel hurt around Miracle of Love because of this. They search their way of being, unaware of the deeper part, hearing they should let go but not sure of what, yet their fear of not fitting in may cause them to do things they may not want to and then blame the group. This happens in many groups and I had a bit of this. Yet my experience was if I said “No I don’t want to do that” this was accepted and there was no attempt to cause me to do anything else. So one does need to take care of one’s being. But Miracle of Love is really centered on letting go of ones emotional past so this “other part” can surface, and it hurts if you don’t want to or don’t understand what is happening. There is a dance, you need to let go, but one also has to check to make sure one is ready and not to push beyond you current limits, even if others tell you to. If you try to crack a shell before the being within is ready, all you get is a crushed shell.
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Again, these are my words, not theirs. Perhaps it will be different for you.
